Tears of silent longing slipped down my face when I woke up, triggered by the sweet lingering memory of that warmth, so precious, so wanted and yet so out of reach...
***
White swirls of every shape whirled over me, the sun seem to radiate over both of us, as I comfortably sat on a soft bed of grass, gazing at you, the one I had so much love and adoration for; you were the most dear person. Your sitting figure no less than 10 centimeters away from me consumed my vision at that moment. You brushed your hand against the cool, crisp grass and then scuttled forward, planting that little kiss on my forehead as I could not meet your gaze.
I knew your eyes were reading my movements, my reactions, but I was too embarrassed for an unknown reason, and averted my gaze towards my laps, where my hands rested. You seemed to move closer, before you stopped, for a moment and retreated. My heart seemed to resonate a beat so loud that I was worried that you could hear it. All my feelings felt like they would explode, and I was scared about how I could control them, I needed to show you how strong I had become...
I ran one hand on top of the luscious grass, caressing over the razor sharp jagged points of each blade. The day was beautiful, and at first, I didn't realise the noise your scuttle made as you subtly moved closer to me, reaching your hand towards me. It wasn't until you touched my hand, skimming yours over my fingers, clasping so gently and drawing my hand close to your warm body that I'd suddenly realised the limited proximity now between you and me.
My body temperature soared; my face was flushed with an overwhelming heat, so hot that I could feel the cool winds biting against my burning skin. Your hand remained unclenched against my fingers, and only lightly bordered my cold hands with your soft, warm fingers, stroking my shaking skin with your thumb.
You displayed an uncanny smile spread across your face, as I reeled back in surprise.
How much longer can I keep doing this!!!
Silence...
And then, a melody resonated in the air. One so beautiful, so vivid, one that made my heart deviate from even its most excited pace, faster and faster as all I could do was listen, while my gaze lay transfixed onto your hand that held mine. I sat up straighter to control my ventilation, as my mind dazed to and fro, calculating and miscalculating the reasons for your actions, confusing me immensely.
I dared to move my gaze to your face, and my eyes widened in shock, and my breath was cut short. That melody, so pure, so powerful, it was unreal, as if it was too good to be true. That hoarse yet sweet sound, filled the monotonous silence with so much vigour as your blue eyes seemed to crinkle just the slightest around the edges and your teeth, so perfect, seemed to occupy my attention, as the rumbles of my heart were drowned out by this unknown yet precious moment.
You were laughing...
That laugh rang in my ears over and over again, as you did not hold back. You continued to laugh, with even more vigour, a side that I had never seen of you, but had craved for so long to see. At that moment I realised it did not matter, nothing mattered, not these walls, or this seclusion and the desire to prove. You had, broken down this wall, all but with, that simplistic laugh, and I soon found myself chuckling slightly at the alterations of your hands entwined with mine.
Ah, but...what about my changes, my improvements? This insecurity that I have changed, these feelings that are consuming me, what about...
You suddenly grasped my hand tighter as silence found its place again, and you opened your mouth, and I watched as they whispered one word, a word that labelled who I am, but yet sounded so perfect when you uttered:
'Raveena'
The spell was broken, as I found myself into your embrace, as these feelings finally took over, that little voice in my head was silenced, as the strength in your arms as you placed me close to your heart were enough to make me realise I was home...I had finally found 'you'....
