Its 8:50 in the morning right now...my face seriously still looks like this =.=''''' ..zzzzzz
after last nites intriguing yet contemplative battle with Jeremy, I can say this clearly...
boy..life's a bitch...and a massive one at that!!
Sigh, its kinda hard when I love you and kk so much. I wont ever say that watever is happening is a burden to me. Rather than that, it makes me realise that Im trusted and accpeted for who I am, enough so that my dear friends can actually seek out advice and pour their hearts out, while me being a little biased towards KK due to the fact that we have the same sort of ...problems. But sigh, I learnt that in the end all I can do is pray to god. Make a selfish wish, and pray that God will hear. If i ever had to make this wish, I would say God please make the people in a relationship realise just how important their loved one is to them, and that they should pursue and relive each day the same happiness that they treasure so much.
im surprised after my recent lack of sleep, why this morning when I woke up and stared at the mirror, I did not see the mammoth of a pimple i was expecting to be placed right dot centre in the middle of my forehead....the human body simply amazes me, end of story there.
Well now I need to make plans for what I want to do today..because yesterday I got seriously sidetracked =.=' (yes stil looking like this)
I told myself I would do all the cambridge exam questions...but nooooo stupid little Raveenamsn for a certain someone knowing that I should be studying. But I dontdidnt have these people, then I wouldnt be the stupid airheaded girl who runs around like a frickin lunatic :D ...at times XD
Anyhoos getting back to my plans....today i SWEAR to do all these things:
- Do my debate with Sarah, before I die of a heartattack D:
- DO THE CAMBRIDGE EXAM QUESTIONS FOR EVOLUTION (yep a lot of emphasis there)
- revise the whollllleee cambridge book...iv finished it..so i should revise it or im screwed if I forget
- Revise meiosis, mitosis, PCR, DNA replication, transcription, translation, index fossils, features of hominids, get definitions of hominids, hominins and primates (for some reason I always think of the pokemon when I see the work primate)
- hmm wat else..errrr I HAVE TO DO MY PHYSICS CHEAT SHEET
- and last but not least...i shud kinda study for methods. I mean i cant keep wagging school...iv alreadi missed 4 lessons, so techniquely havent I alreadi failed? oo i just realised i might have...ahahahah..crap
ALRITE RAVEENA WOOT WOOT
lets see how much of this i ACTUALLY get done.......................................
heavy emphasis on the word actually..knowing me, ill be sitting on msn instead of studying, when I told myself I should limit and delete the damn thing..ITS SOO ADDICTIVE arhghggh
thank god i dont have facebook...i refuse to get it. One because deshan thinks its gay and 2 because id get reallll addicted..and trust me i dont need anymore distractions than wat i alreadi
and it just dawned upon me
Today is my third month with Deshan :D
..im kinda happy about it..but im sort of sad too
sad because i cant exactly call him and talk for hours on the phone with him, make him happy
cause yep..i dont have a phone..and im desperate for one for my bday, one that will give me free texts and calls to anyone on 3. My resolution for this month with Deshan....errr get a hot body :D
loll
na just kidding..i havent gotten desh a present yet..but I know wat im giving him hehehee
hmmm im kinda neutral with my love life..happiness, pain, excitement, sadness, Iv felt them all, some more vividly than others. But today the most important thing for me is to remember the day when we got together...that is one of my favourite memories. O O O especially when he gave me a flower. i think we flirted crazy at that time, now i guess we dont, but thats me trailing off now... lol. and when we made plans to go japan together and talked about anime and when we had the little stupid playful fights just to piss each other off...sigh having no contact with the dude is kinda killing me, but studies come first. nch nch in the end ill be the one having a sulk if i cant get an
a+ on the biology midyear not him.sometimes i think he is smarter than me...its just he doesnt try
which brings me to my next point:
WHY ARE BOYS SOOOO FRICKIN SMART
classic example
- jeremy basically bragged about how easy 3/4 Methods is, and i sat there, blinked, stared at him, and bit my tongue in order to remind myself not to start crying..especially at tutor, in front of everyone :|
- deshan...when he works hard he gets the results..kinda scary. i remember he worked realllisha's first exam and got 88 % and my face was like D: kinda shocked...and then he pulled off an a+ on the biology 3/4 midyear and when he told me i was like...dude wat happened, ur dumb **** lol yep i luv him :D and another time in class when we were doing the diaganol rule in class for redox, he was like raveena u have to explain this to me later and i was like yeah sure (his face was cute) and then isha asked him a question, and he like straight away knew and i was like woooh WTF!!! i didnt even know it and I WAS PAYING ATTENTION in class!! well mayb i was a little distracted...i mean desh is kinda pretty hot..hard to keep my eyes off him. kinda suprising since he spends majority of his life with his face pressed against the mirror, checking out his hair...hehe
- Lukey boy...this kids views and passions astound me. he's 2 years my junior but at times I feel like he is an older brother, who protects me from myself seriously, without the need for an umbrella or anything lol.
Well for now those are the 3 more important boys to me in my life and I luv them for who they are regardless if they are jerks, assholes or total selfish upthemselves (yep you know who u are)
Hmm that reminds me, when I do come chemistry tutor next I have to bring a camera..and a charged one at that. i can tell u now, the poor camera has been left abandoned under my bed, simply because I cannot find the frickin charger!!! + my bro wud realise i actually have the camera..cause i stole it.
OMG BREAKING NEWS
MY EYES HAVING GONE FROM =.= TO o.o
WOOOOt
LOLL
alrite
for now this is all im going to write..today is my anniversary, i hope it turns out good..unless i have no contact with him, which i cant really expect because I should be studying.
p.s the first thing i did this morning was eat 2 peaches :D lol
i shud make a list of the things i do, well for now
ciao people..luv u heaps but today my luv is for deshan
or i shud say
I marshmellow you deshan ~~~
Iv left 2 poem today (which i take no credit for)
Alone
I wish you were here with meKnowing
I wish you were by my side
I worry about you
I can't stop thinking about you
I'm all alone in my world
no one but me lives here
darkness, darkness, darkness
come back to me
I don't want to be alone
If only you knew
how much I cared
If only you knew
how much I am suffering
but you don't
and I can't find the
words to tell you.
I like you so much
but when you come around
I freeze up and can't say anything
If only you knew
how to understand my feelings
But I've never felt this way
so I don't know what to say
I don't want to hurt you
like I have all the others
If only I knew
how to make you know.
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