Temptation

Its the worst thing
when I'm sitting right beside you,
watching your slow and rhythmic breathing,
a reflection, a pause, a discontinuation,
only to continue, embrace and move on.

Sitting next to you, expecting, hoping
that these foolish and indecisive feelings
are transmitted, almost forced upon you.

Restless; suddenly overly conscious
That little bit more blush, the time in the mirror
will he notice it, will it mean anything to him?

Insecurities, pent up, and then BOOM
released from the bottled up fountain of emotion
HAHAH Imperfections fly out!
Dark skin, small eyes, fat face, ugly nose?

Then silence, the silence,
a breathe not taken, a word not spoken
Like an enchanting spell, i want to be awoken
released from the bondage that so tightly
leaves me clinging, yearning for your notice
your attention.

Your gnarled hands, enfolded into a close
entangle of fingers and nails
so delicate, so reachable
Slide mine within your tender grasp
and expect the recoil, the confused,
bemused and puzzled ponder upon your face

Transfixed to those lips, moving
Open, shut, open, shut
Repetition, over and over again,
as if in a trance, hypnotised by the sheer
beauty of speech

Clinging to every word, every flicker
every abstract action and sentence
Amused by your 'specialty'
and thankful for your presence in my life

Its the worst thing
When I'm sitting right beside you
And i know I can never have you.









You Are My Temptation
so please fall from the garden of paradise
into this sick masochistic lion
that years only for you....

I LOVE YOU BOB...no kevin..i dont love penis

First off, for the number of people who asked me to whom I was referring in my previous blog post; the mysterious mystical man that has been intricately woven into the post, is none other than my imaginary boyfriend, Bob ;) Love you, Bob. Or mayb it wasn't .... :D

The horizon is shining because
it hides you somewhere.
When I see a lot of lights,
I feel dear because
you are in one of them.

Let's go out
Packing a bag with a piece of bread,
a candles and a love
This burning will that your kindness gave me
That look your eyes instilled.

The Earth is spinning, hiding you.
The eyes are shining, and the lights are twinkling
The Earth is spining, putting on you;
putting on us who shall meet each other someday





















For you...my shining light, so pure, so innocent..and so right

I needed you.

Your eyes are beautiful.
Your voice is alluring.
Your touch is warm.
Your hair is a messy nest.
Your olive skin is unpredictable.
Your hands are within grasp

Yet it is your lips that appeal the most to me..
dry, chapped and unkempt, they have a certain lush appearance
that draws me closer, and closer, making me want
to dip my head in, and draw those lips into an internal entwine
in which i can taste you, taste your sweet taste, that is so
tempting, like the fruit on the Forbidden Tree in the garden of God

Become an Eve,
Taste a forbidden fruit
Fall from paradise
With only a Snow Drop to
Represent that once idyllic time
She was alone, in the winter cold
freezing, paling, yet an angel
had mercy
and gave her a snow drop
A hope

That one can never look back
Never regret
Only move forward
Look towards the warmth of others
That God had not yet taken away from her
Feelings
The beauty of heartbreak
The beauty of pain
The unknowing beauty that comes
with developing into a more humane character

So pure, yet so out of reach.
A sin to have, yet a desire unyielding
I want you so badly, that's the underlying truth
How long can I hold back?
How long can I watch your every move?
Contemplate your every expression?
And daze over your abash personality?

You've become a drug, an obsession
I can't stop anymore, I can't rid you of my thoughts
While my heart beats, my head cries out in disapproval
but what fool doesn't listen to their heart?

Take the chance, should I try?
Make a move, and watch it fall apart.
Becoming hypnotized, as if in a trance..
Be embraced, and pray for the moment to last forever
Watch the sunset and realise a fool's worth

Fields, a temporary halt
in the turbulent movement of time
A place of reflection
Makes me want to sleep...forever

Sit in silence as the wind blows, watching with you
in amazement the sheer power and beauty of
Mother Nature, so vast, so powerful, and yet
So abused, disregarded.

Hear your views, fight, disagree, yet
vehemently deny
your words of wisdom
the piercing pain, the
inability to keep you out
The desperation to shut you out
away...away in fear

Fear, fear of acceptance
fear of not being good enough
pretty?
funny?
charming?
Traits, fit for perfection
found within every person
yet not always explored and expressed

Generic, reciprocated
Possibly unrequited,
Feelings not returned, shunned, denied
Disregarded like your fickle nature
Thrown away like last nights dinner
Am I meaningful?
Do I have a purpose?
Do I mean anything to you?
Does you heart beat..even for a moment...?

Wondering, does thinking have a purpose?
Feelings, what if I hurt you?
Will my actions hurt myself?
Does it matter if I am hurt?
Can I be selfish, force my feelings on you?
Or will you draw back, move away, keep your distance
In your own assumed solution

A bond that transitions time
A moment that lasts forever
A memory that sparks a change
A time that become imprinted

Fear, preys on the mind
Hope shatters realities
Constant interferences
Take precious time away
That I want, only with you

Excuses to see you,
Never lies,
but heartache, seeing you smile
knowing that I am not the one
creating that smile
That that smile is not for me...but
rather for her..

See through me
See my thoughts
Become my mind reader
Only then will you truly understand
How much I am holding back
not just for me, but for you sake

Fade from white
Awkward, shy, hidden
Tears seep, you comfort
Heart-wrenching sights
What can I keep from you?

They pour out...
Disregarding all reason
Shattering all barriers
Trust is all I can give
and watch as I continue to
Lie to myself, over and over
To avoid the pain
the self damning inflicted pain
that will overwrite me
like a computer program














Your no vampire,
but your perfect
Even if Twilight has warped
what it is to be perceived as
Your existence
It isn't a blur
It's clear, well defined, just like the camera shots
Over and over, revealing a truth
Over and over, proving a theory
Over and over, giving false hope
and watching it build up and break down

It's futile, your means of protecting me
I've already wadded into the deep waters
I can't guard my heart forever
Come save me! I yell
my heart overflowing
Save me from myself
my evident flood of lack of self control
as it seeks to consume me

Numbness that stems from my own insecurity
is whisked away with your lingering voice
Repeating over and over again,
I needed love
and I needed you

If only I knew you cared
that you valued my repetitive trust statements
my self confessed anxiety that came
from your lack of response
You leave me memorized,
especially your eyes, so full of life and reflection
and innocence so valued and treasured
I needed you.

I need you.